By Dave Whitaker & Jason Lehman
(Venture Church Network + Keenly)

In a recent conversation between us (Dave Whitaker from Venture Church Network and Jason Lehman from Keenly) we found ourselves naming the same pattern we’ve both been observing while working with churches across the country.

Different contexts. Different denominations. Different sizes of churches. Same issue.

Isolation.

Not just in pastors, but in ministry leaders broadly. What started as an honest conversation between the two of us quickly turned into a shared realization: this wasn’t just anecdotal. It wasn’t isolated to a few leaders or a few regions. It was systemic, quiet, and growing. And we both felt it was important to take those observations and shape them into something that might help leaders name what they’re experiencing – and maybe take a step toward something healthier.

“Better together.”

We hear it everywhere.

We’ve said it. Other ministries say it. Businesses say it. Healthcare systems say it. It’s baked into marketing language, vision statements, and conference slogans.

And in ministry, we probably feel the weight of that phrase even more. We know we’re supposed to do ministry with other people. We preach community. We champion connection. We design small groups, teams, committees, and gatherings around the idea that faith was never meant to be lived out alone.

And yet… ministry leaders are some of the most isolated people we know.

Not because they want to be alone. But because isolation sneaks up quietly, subtly, and often convincingly. Sometimes it’s a choice. Sometimes it’s circumstantial. And sometimes it’s something leaders don’t even realize they’re carrying until it’s already heavy.

How Isolation Creeps In

Years ago, Jason sat across the table from someone in ministry who had just walked through a very painful season. He’d made some bad choices. Choices that eventually led to him being removed from his role. After some of the dust had settled, there was an honest conversation about what had happened.

At one point, a simple question was asked:

“Why didn’t you tell anyone what was going on?”

His answer has been a long term reminder.

First, he said, “If I had said it out loud, it would have made it real.”

Then he said something even heavier:

“In church, we talk all the time about God giving second chances, third chances, fourth chances. But as staff members? We only get one chance. And it’s when we get hired.”

That statement stopped the conversation cold.

Because whether leaders say it out loud or not, many ministry leaders feel that reality every single day. And when you believe you only get one shot, self-preservation kicks in fast. You manage perception. You hide weakness. You carry things alone. You isolate.

Not because you’re proud, but because you’re scared. And fear is a powerful isolator.

The Many Faces of Ministry Isolation

Isolation doesn’t always look like sitting alone in an office or feeling disconnected from your congregation. Sometimes it’s more subtle.

Proximity matters

In larger churches, urban settings, or suburban contexts, there are often built-in opportunities for connection. Coffee meetings. Regional gatherings. Shared events. You bump into people who do what you do.

But in rural contexts – miles from the next church, limited population, limited staff – building peer relationships can be incredibly difficult. Not because leaders don’t want them, but because they’re simply not accessible.

Ministry baggage matters

For many leaders, isolation grows out of past hurt.

A toxic environment. A painful exit. A betrayal. A board situation that went sideways. Multiple ministry experiences that slowly eroded trust. Over time, it’s easy to convince yourself that leadership has to be solo. That it’s safer to keep people at arm’s length. That vulnerability costs too much. Cynicism starts to feel like wisdom. Sometimes there’s even a quiet desire to “do it better” this time as a reaction to the past.

All of that creates distance. And distance eventually turns into loneliness.

Loneliness in Ministry Is More Common Than We Admit

We hear it constantly from pastors, leaders, school leaders, nonprofit executives, and ministry staff across the board. If you’ve experienced seasons of isolation, you’re not broken. You’re not weak. You’re not failing.

You’re human.

But isolation, left unaddressed, shapes decisions, relationships, health, and leadership in ways we never intended. So if you’re in a season where you feel disconnected, alone, or like you’re carrying more than you should, here are a few practical pathways worth considering:

1. Join a Church or Pastoral Network

This might feel obvious, but it’s often delayed far too long.

There are healthy church and pastoral networks doing meaningful work to come alongside leaders. Here at Venture Church Network we genuinely believe the way they support pastors and churches is thoughtful, relational, and alongside.

The strength of most networks is regional connection. They create space for shared learning, encouragement, and real relationships. You’re not just consuming content you’re building community with people who understand your pressures, your context, and your reality.

Not as another obligation. But as a lifeline. If you would like to connect with someone in your region start by connecting with a VCN Region.

2. Step Outside Your Normal Circles

Build relationships beyond your denomination, association, or usual theological lane. Sometimes the healthiest conversations happen where there’s less overlap and fewer assumptions. Sometimes it’s as simple as driving to a nearby church and introducing yourself to the pastor. There’s a good chance they’re feeling isolated too.

Your reach out might matter more than you realize. For both of you.

3. Join a Cohort (Yes, Really)

Not all cohorts are created equal.

The healthiest ones aren’t about fixing leaders. They’re about walking with them. They create rhythm, accountability, shared language, and safe space. Not performance. Not posturing. Not pressure. If isolation has been creeping in, a cohort can create connection without requiring you to have everything figured out. If you need help finding a cohort let us know.

You’re Not Alone (Even If It Feels That Way)

Most ministry leaders face isolation at some point. Many face it multiple times. The invitation isn’t to push harder or carry more. It’s to step out of the isolation bubble.

That bold next step might change your health.
That bold next step might change your leadership.
That bold next step might change your family.

And it might change someone else’s life when you show up and say:

“You’re not alone either.”

Ministry was never meant to be done solo. And neither were you.

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